They must keep some sort of list. Or perhaps they make 'hobo' chalk marks on the sidewalks of unrepentant sinners. We used to be plagued by JW's constantly until about ten years ago. After a particularly festive Saturday night, I was awakened by a fresh - faced little strumpet leaning on my doorbell at 0730. She asked me something like 'Do you know the three parts of God's plan for our lives?" I responded: "You bet! Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n Roll. Which one shall we start with toots?" She got a priceless deer in the headlights look and scurried back out to the street. Ever since I see them bugging the neighbors on both sides, but giving my house a wide berth. You've got to break them in the way you're gonna run 'em.
I got my first religious junk male on the weekend, which is not bad seeing as I've been here 18 months. The long driveway scares them off. Holly the over-friendly German Shephard just licked them. They went away when I said no thanks.
One of our "well out on the bell curve" bachelor engineers had a couple of JW's visit him one evening. He had just settled down with a glass of wine, and wasn't planning on doing anything, so he invited them in. He had been reading a book on sects (no, the religious sort), so he was all set.
They gave up after a couple of hours, made their excuses and left. He said he did it for fun, and to help make sure his neighbours weren't bothered ;-)
Some years ago, we were having a project meeting in one of the rooms with a window. I usually sit so I can while away the time looking out.
There were a couple of pheasants making a tremendous racket disputing their territory in the woodland outside. Finally, one of them "lost", and flew off low and fast.
I sat there and watched as the bird flew straight at me, and crashed into the window! Noone else had seen this, so they all jumped pretty high - me, I was out of there to go and grab the bird. It had broken it's neck, so I took it home. Very tasty. The strange thing was, almost all the others were astonished I did that, it grossed them out.
I'll add that line to my repertoire... the Baptists don't seem to want to take NO for an answer.
I guess the only caution is to make sure the "strumpet" is of age, so you can't get arrested ;-)
...Jim Thompson
--
| James E.Thompson, P.E. | mens |
| Analog Innovations, Inc. | et |
| Analog/Mixed-Signal ASIC's and Discrete Systems | manus |
| Phoenix, Arizona Voice:(480)460-2350 | |
| E-mail Address at Website Fax:(480)460-2142 | Brass Rat |
| http://www.analog-innovations.com | 1962 |
I love to cook with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.
At one flat at Uni we used to have "Religious Salespeople Please Fuck Off" written in 4" high letters on the front door. That worked.
One holidays I, too, was rudely awakened by a Jehovah's Witless at the door. I said "no thankyou" and closed the door, at which point he stuck his foot in the doorway and started to argue. So I opened the door, kicked him hard in the knee, then closed it. He went away, limping.
My all-time favourite was the woman with 2 small kids (5-6yo) in tow. I had nothing better to do, so argued with her for 15 minutes or so. We got onto free choice, an she got upset when I suggested her kids didnt have any choice in the matter of their religion. When I asked her what she would do if tomorrow her daughter said "mummy, I dont believe in Jesus" she had a temper tantrum, started screaming obscenities and ran off down the driveway, dragging her 2 kids. A thoroughly enjoyable mornings entertainment.
One lunchtime at work, one of the production techs came into the R&D smoko room, and started a religious argument. He had been the Christian Heritage Party candidate in the elections the year earlier. We tied him in knots, and via the ten commandments, old & new testaments forced him into admitting that either a) god made a mistake, or b) god was malevolent
at which point he burst into tears and fled the department, never to return (at lunchtime, anyway).
Last week the former head of the CHP, Graham Capill, was jailed for child abuse. The same Graham Capill who had been a vocal opponent of lax censorship, homosexual law reform, sale of condoms etc. It has been hilarious to watch the CHP purge him from their website, almost FTL.
Once, while I was sitting on a rock at Solana Beach, a sea lion or seal came gaflumping up the beach, gave me the eye as if to say, "hey, that was supposed to be my spot", and after a moment or so of she and I eying each other, with me sort of asking, "What? Is this your spot?" she gaflumped a few feet to the side and climbed up on the rocks to a spot very near where I was sitting, as if to say, "Well, OK, this is good enough, I guess (Idiot! Humph.)." ;-)
My folks live in a small seaside town where they've been feeding some native birds (kookaburras, magpies and parakeets) for a few years. Now the latest generation are quite happy to hop in to their garage to have a nosey around, but they still avoid other humans. Mum and dad moved a couple of years ago, just a few blocks but they wondered what would happen to the birds.
Took 'em a few weeks but the birds found where the feed-bin had shifted to!
This newsgroup reminds me of a short film I saw lately. In a positive way :-)
It was a US military documentation of a small troup of soldiers who had been given LSD and sent out on a simple field exercise mission.
They were to navigate themselves from one side of a grass field to the other side. They never made it.
This film was made many years ago, when they conducted some tests to find out the possibilities of acid in war. The film has been secret until recently.
They failed to understand the map, turned it upside down and back again, could not agree on the direction, got more confused and disorganised.
The efficiency decreased gradually, as the soldiers started to giggle, took off their uniforms, tried to feed the birds, lay down laughing in the grass.
Yes, I've read a couple of kindly posts, and I do care about your fishes, and I care about you and your opinions and stuff. I've been refraining from posting the last few days about your loss of your friend, because my inner imp wanted to turn it into some kind of competition with the news of that dead guy in Italy. If we feel like the heat's off, what I have been restraining myself from saying is, "At least this is about the loss of someone that somebody cares about."
You did write a very moving piece about her, too, and I didn't know how to say thanks for that.
On a lighter note, I'm sorely tempted to go back to that other branch library and xerox the inner backflap of your dust jacket, and post it with a caption, "Frighten your children!" ;-)
Yeah, this time has its own flavour, we are reminded of death, not only because of the Pope or Wins fish, but also of Rainier, Prince of Monaco, who died yesterday(only 10 mls away). Guy you should see what is happening here, transport is booked out, millions are rushing to Rome or Monte Carlo, the TV doesn't follow the schedule any more, too many "breaking news". I on the other hand had a pleasent surprise this morning, my ADSL line shut down for a moment, and when I reestablished it, the displayed connection speed had gone up from 800kb/s to 1.5Mb/s. Well I tried it and the download is indeed up to 150kB double from before. My provider didn't even mention this, but with all the money I paid for my flat rate during the past 4years, he must have done well.
Some years ago I was awakend to hammering on the house. I searched all around and found nothing, until I opened the livingroom curtains. The Cedar Waxwings had been "sampling" our cherry tree and were *plastered*. They'd get spooked and fly en-mass (*hundreds*) into the windows, then "stager" back to the bar for another round. This went on for a couple of hours.
I have a friend (a no >50YO Vietnam-era marine recon type) who stepped out of the shower to see what thee commotion was (they kept knocking unitl he answered). As soon as he figured out who they were he let the towel "slip" and continued to ask what exactly what it was they wanted. They didn't come back.
There is an even bigger problem buried here. (behind the official war on drugs)
We live in a culture which is strongly against lazyness and against taking things lightly.
There are strong moral traditions about working hard, being very serious, and living in the fear of God, whatever that means :-)
The creationist culture is using social repression and manipulation to uphold the old traditions, the holy matrimony, the eternal love, the holy spirit and the holy wrath, gender roles, mobbing, violence, fear, strong convictions, etc..
This systems requires a lot of training of the mind, creating strong will power, social dominance, and stiff minds.
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