I need an end-of-vacation rant...
Most of my youthful optimism is still intact. I like to think that the government and business estates are run on the basis of noble intentions, public benefit, logic, rational thinking, fiscal responsibilities, philanthropy, and all the other positive attributes that make up a good public relations image. Unfortunately, my reality doesn't seem to match my illusions. In small business, I've found that it is almost impossible to remain solvent and honest simultaneously. I'm often forced into situations where the only useful action is to break the rules, violate the laws, and occasionally cheat someone. In my limited experience, the only question is the degree one lies, cheats, and steals. I do my best to keep these to a minimum, but it's certainly not zero.
All I can say about government is that with a few notable exceptions, all contact with officialdom has been detrimental. Size seems to be the problem, as once an organization grows to be responsible to its stockholders or constituents approaches zero. There are none bigger than government and it shows. Much of my business plan revolves around government avoidance.
I've discussed ethics with both government officials and businessmen. The common thread is that individually, they all want to be helpful, useful, kind, generous, and honest. However, pressure from both above and below can change that overnight. When advancement means that it has to be done over someone else's mortal remains, then ethics is the first to be ignored. Then the stockholders demand profit not matter who gets screwed in the process, again ethics is sidelined in the name of profits. When asked to do something unethical or illegal, there is always the implied threat that if one doesn't do it, they'll hire someone else that will. When the benefit to cost ratio of expediency is high enough to believe that one can get away with something, temptation often trumps ethics.
In the beginning, you have many possible options and moves available. It pays to be honest and ethical because the big reward is so far off in the future that risking the future is just not worthwhile. However, as the game reaches the end, the stakes are much higher, and the options are available moves are far fewer, it is possible to simply run out of legal and ethical options. For those that want to stay in the game, the only choice is to break the rules or laws.
I often look with envy at my college friends who chose government service over private employment. Most are retired by now and doing well enough on a government pension. There was no risk involve and it was only necessary to tolerate the ultimate bureaucracy for about 40 years. Cheat, lie, or steal didn't matter, as long as one didn't do anything unethical or immoral. The end reward is a comfortable pension and retirement. I'm rather jealous and rather wish I had gone into government service (even though I probably would not have tolerated it).
So, do I sleep nights and maintain a functional conscience? Yes, I think so, mostly, maybe. Sleep is questionable thanks to bladder problems, but as long as the local critters are quiet, I sleep like the proverbial rock[1]. Conscience is a bit different. I worry about my screwups, but as long as I try to fix or avoid further screwups, I don't loose too much sleep over them. It's not a great rationalization, but maintaining good intentions is the best I can do.
[1] Then, there's "sleep talking". I've had extended convesations on the phone while asleep. In the morning, I can't remember anything that I said or promised. Friends and customers say I sounded a bit "detached" but otherwise normal. I also have some recordings. I guess this would also qualify as not worrying in my sleep.