I GOT CABLE ONE DAY AND I WAS TRYING TO FIND SOMETHING TO WATCH AND I WATCHED MTV FOR ABOUT 2 HOURS THEN I GOT A BOWLING BALL AND THREW IT THROUGH THE SCREEN AND TOOK THE BOWLING BALL AND BROKE THE CIRCUIT BOARD AND BROKE THE CABINET. I CALLED MY CABLE COMPANY AND TOLD THEM THAT I AM CANCELING SERVICE AND THEY ASKED ME WHY I AM CANCELLING AND I TOLD THEM THAT I HAD BETTER NOT RECEIVE ANOTHER BILL FROM THEM. I FILLED UP THE SPACE WHERE MY TV ONCE UP WITH OREOS AND TWINKIES.
THEN ONE DAY I WAS RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF A GALLON OF VANILLA ICE CREAM AND I GOT A KNOCK ON THE DOOR. I OPENED IT AND IT WAS A BUNCH OF TEENAGERS. I THOUGHT THAT THEY WERE MORMONS BUT THEY SAID THAT THEY WERE FROM DISH NETWORK AND THEY WANTED TO OFFER ME SATELLITE TV.
I TOLD THEM TO HOLD ON A MINUTE WHILE I GET MY CHECKBOOK. I SHUT THE DOOR AND TOOK A S*IT IN MY LEFT HAND AND I OPENED THE DOOR AND PROPELLED A LOG OF DOOK IN ONE OF THE SALESMAN'S FACES AND I TOLD THEM THAT IF THEY CAME BACK I WAS GOING TO KICK THEIR ASSES.