Which is the best method to get rid of a corpse

The only really effective way is to eat it.

John

Feed it to AlwaysWrong ?:-)

...Jim Thompson

Take it to a police station and tell them you found it. They'll inform you that they have to retain it for a time to see whether anyone claims it, but that if no one does, it becomes your property.

Now, here's the cunning part - when they call you to tell you that you can collect it, you don't do anything.

Sylvia.

Find a steel mill and toss the body in a Bessemer converter? That batch of steel might have a bit more carbon than usual!

eBay.

He wouldn't want to do that - someone might get killed.

Sylvia.

A Bessemer Converter?? Those haven't been used for 100 years, you might have a bit of a problem finding one to dump a body in.

Freeze the body and then use a 650W electric planer to shave the body into flakes. It'll take a long time, make lots of noise and will be one heck of a mess. Then flush everything down the toilet. :P (I want royalties if CSI uses this idea.)

Dexter does it better.. Deep water with an ocean current. Or Freeze then toss into wood chipper on a bridge over a stream ...Fargo style.

D from BC myrealaddress(at)comic(dot)com British Columbia Canada

Jim Thompson wrote in news: snipped-for-privacy@4ax.com:

"feed the hogs",like in John Ross's book Unintended Consequences. That's where many of our Congresscritters belong.

Eat it first, then bury it.

Thanks; got a chuckle..

Just dress it in a Santa suit and put it in a sleigh on your roof and leave it there. Now you need to wait for some reindeer, that should be very time consuming.

Someone beat me to selling it on eBay solution.

;)

But first,

Best regards, Spehro Pefhany

u might

At least not since the 1960s.

"bw" wrote in news:glpd3m$h1f$ snipped-for-privacy@news.motzarella.org:

put it in a box,and wrap it like a Xmas present,then leave it out to be stolen. Preferably on a cold day,keeps the smell down.

Cut it into 3" x 3" x 6" pieces. Wrap and label "fruitcake". Send packages out as gifts.

With no fear of it being eaten, or, in most cases, opened, before disposal.

That's similar to my should-have-patented method for disposal of nuclear power plant waste: t my suggestion was for the power companies to mail their stockholders their "dividend" every quarter and let them deal with it locally.

Another similar method is being used by the car and truck tire industry to dispose of some of their waste. The tires are ground into small pellets and spread on outdoor athletic fields all over the country. Eventually the pellets follow a path through the athetes' shoes and clothing into their homes and eventually legally into landfills where whole tires are forbidden.

YOu must be careful when listing. List it as 'chemicals' and not as body parts in order to get past eBay's silly "no dead bodies" rule.

Use this as your list of chemicals:

Chemical Percentage

Oxygen 65 Carbon 18 Hydrogen 10 Nitrogen 3 Calcium 1.5 Phosphorus 1 Potassium 0.25 Sulfur 0.25 Sodium 0.15 Chlorine 0.15 Magnesium 0.05 Iron 0.006 Misc 0.65

Make sure you specifiy FOB so you are not responsible for shipping delays!