Have you noticed how the food in your cupboard disappears faster than you can eat it? Have you complained about this and discovered it makes no difference?
Someones being having cheese and ham sandwiches recently.....
That's strange. I use my mustard in soups and sauces and take it out of the jar with a teaspoon. Hmmmmmmmm, there appears to have been some strange knife activity since I last had some.
Not a problem.
Just take a quick piss in the jar, add a bit of plain flour to bring things back to consistency. Quick shake...... ooooooh smooooooth.
Looks like mustard, tastes like mustard..... has piss in it.
Gosh, that looks like a nice cheese and ham sandwich....
DNA