Doorbell "button"

"Put your left hand on your right shoulder."

"OK, now put your right hand on your right hip."

"OK, now lift your left leg."

"Gee, don't *you* look silly!"

Separate 'discounted' door answering and conversation fees. "This offer only available if you take both..."

I like my video display Idea, but thinking a bit, I think you should build a huge, gazebo like front porch structure with steel panel slamming "windows" (ala The Forbidden Planet) and entry door that makes the visitor feel like he or she is 100% at your mercy.

As a a sci fi option, you could have one window remain 'open' but lead to a disintegration chamber. :-) (no muss, no fuss)

'Unsuspectima victima' on a placard over the window.

I'd thought of an immobil-IZED knocker that senses when it's been touched... and *released* (while not being "actuated") -- then, knocks by itself. Or, at the end of it's "stroke", results in a traditional door chime being sounded (instead of the expected "knock").

But, that's in the category of "unexpected REACTION" instead of "confounding" beforehand.

The coin slot is probably the best example of the sort of reaction I want from folks: "This *can't* possibly be the doorbell! But, it sure LOOKS like that's what it's role is, here! (why else have a coin slot beside the front door with an "Insert Coins" legend?) Let me see what other things are nearby that could be the REAL doorbell..."

but some holier-than-thou ("God speaks to Me") sort would get all bent out of shape over that!

Have a super strong e-switched magnet at the knocker arm bottom that keeps it pinned to the door, and blurts out upon touch: "Do I know you?", then releases after a couple seconds... for a few seconds. Or alerts the face recognition system... you... yada yada yada... then you release it.

The old way was a mechanical latch and solenoid release mechanism.

Nowadays they keep entire doors shut with electro-magnets all the time, so keeping the knocker arm pinned would be easy.

Make 'em use linux to ring the doorbell. Let them figure out the CLI command required to do so.

makes the visitor

Why is that not surprising?

Hardly. You've presented them with a challenge to be met and provided a diversion from the normally boring and frustrating task of selling door to door.

My version of that was setting up flat bed scanners for customers. At the time, such scanners were fairly new and few mortals knew how they operated. I would set up the scanner, install the software, and then fumble around looking for something to scan. There's nothing better than scanning money, so I would dive into my wallet and proclaim that it's empty. I would then ask the customer for a $20 bill to scan. The scanner demonstration and tutorial would normally last about 15-30 minutes, during which time the customer would invariably forget about his $20 bill, which I would pocket when done. Unfortunately, I'm disgustingly honest and would later confess to the theft, or give a $20 credit on the bill. Unfortunately, this can no longer be done.

Now, back to your doorbell. Perhaps what you need is just a 12 button keypad (calculator style, not telephone style). Push ANY button, and it rings the doorbell. My guess(tm) is that a random visitor, who has not been previously informed of the trick, will hesitate and not push any of the buttons. Mission accomplished and you have your salesperson deterrent.

Maybe just a decorative surround for the button: a nose, or an ear, formed in silicone? Or maybe poke your finger into a glass eye?

Yes. I need to be able to "authenticate" certain visitors so can't rely on something as "dumb" as a doorbell to tell me that!

Likewise, I don't want the "annunciator" to actually *signal* a visitor's presence. Rather, just an "input" that I can respond to as I see fit. And, ideally, providing feedback to the visitor ALSO "as I see fit" -- so, I can let them think they've "rung the bell (or not) regardless of whether or not I've actually been "disturbed"/alerted by it.

They'd be "unconventional" but wouldn't really "confound". Sort of like making a door knocker out of *glass* ("Gee, that's unusual!" -- but they would still KNOW its purpose)

Remember, it can't be too much of a novelty. I don't want to encourage people to "show their friends". E.g., a teeny-tiny little bell that "rings" like a large GONG!

I want to leave them "uneasy" rather than "amused".

(flush) Lever off a toilet? (and a little suspicious "puddle" nearby that they *will* avoid getting their feet in!)

Even weirder.

We have a doorbell/intercom. When people ring, we can ask them what they want. If it's not interesting, we say "no, thank you" and switch them off.

ala "Addams Family"

I like the "carnivorous plant mouth" as a location for the button.

Touch screen door locks are found on some hotel rooms. Normally, they're used to announce to visitors that the occupants are asleep and do not want to be disturbed or that the room needs untrashing:

I suppose adding a keypad and demanding that the visitor submit to a Captcha type handwriting recognition exam might be useful if one lives in fear of being visited by a robot. At least it has a fair chance of determining that the visitor is human.

Your other ideas are kinda marginal. A loud noise or bright light will disturb the neighbors or attract the attention of the police. These days, nobody can spell properly without the aid of a spelling chequer or do math without a calculator. Reading comprehension is also limited, as demonstrated by the various parcel delivery service personnel failing to note the instructions on my office door.

However, all is not lost. It is possible to demand that the visitor navigate a decision tree. Instead of a keypad or touch screen, just a simple pair of buttons labeled "Yes" and "No". The mechanism asks a few questions and the processor determines the appropriate action. At its simplest, it could ask "Are you selling something (Y/N)?" or perhaps "Do you have an appointment (Y/N)?". It's sorta a crude form of IVR (interactive voice response) that drives customers nuts when navigating over a telephone. I believe this can be successfully operated and navigated by even the lowest form of salesperson.

I think right pondian culture may be different. Here, a "polite notice" would have very little effect.

The *neighborhood* has a prominent notice: "No Soliciting" It isn't worth the paper it was printed on! :-/

Folks routinely walk through the neighborhood knocking on EVERY door trying to peddle .

"Hi, we're in the neighborhood replacing one of your neighbor's windows..." (Oh, really? WHICH NEIGHBOR? Wouldn't I be smarter to wait until you are DONE and then ask that neighbor for his opinion of your product and workmanship? How does my "purchase" BEFORE the fact work to my benefit??)

"We're going to be repainting the house numbers on the street curb and want to know if you'd like yours done, as well?" (Do I look like I have trouble finding *my* house? Did you not notice the large brass numerals prominently affixed to the house above the garage door?)

"Hi, we're (not from this part of town, but) trying to send our class to . Would you consider buying some overpriced candy to help us (and, if we sell ENOUGH of it, we'll be sure to come back next year to pester you suckers^H^H^H kind folks for we plan on doing, then!)"

"Hi, we're trying to get an issue on the ballot to limit the ability of people to put issues on the ballot. Would you care to sign our petition?"

"Hi, I'm Joe Shmoe. I'm running for . I wonder if I could have a moment of your time to discuss my candidacy?"

I think their reasoning is something along the lines of: Heck, I'm *here*. Any house I *don't* visit makes this a less profitable undertaking than I had hoped. BOTHERING the homeowners can't possibly be any worse than NOT MAKING MY PITCH TO THEM (i.e., no pitch == no sale; bothering them at least has the *possibility* of a sale! They just haven't yet realized that they want what I am selling!!)

We get robocalls for the same item(s), repeatedly. E.g., once a week for 6 or 8 *months*. "Um, what makes you think I will want it *this* time when I haven't wanted it any of the past *25* times you've called??"

Again, easier/safer to place the call (and annoy the callee) than to AVOID placing the call (and DEFINITELY losing the sale).

We routinely encounter bicyclists trying to "cut the corner" (two major cross streets) by traveling through our neighborhood. I'm not sure if they are getting this information from a GPS unit (navigation aid) *or* just 'reasoning" that there

They are invariably annoyed when they encounter the gate that the subdivision behind us has installed across the roadway connecting our subdivisions (it's been there for at least 20 years -- but still appears as a navigable road on GPS maps!).

So, instead of a shortcut, they end up putting in an extra mile to get into the subdivision, encounter the gate and then have to get back *out*!

I'd considered an "orifice" into which you inserted a finger and a (synthetic, unseen) tongue licked at it. But, figured this would creep out way too many people!

(and, invite pervs to "use" the opening for other purposes...)

Again, the goal is to cause people to "take pause" *before* acting: "What the hell do I do, now?"

Consider: these folks have a "routine" that they've adopted (consciously or not). What they are doing is largely mindless. So, they "automate" most of their actions. I want to trip them up before they can get into that "routine".

E.g., telemarketers use this in reverse: a "polite" conversation has frequent places where the conversation can "turn around" (i.e., alternate between speaking parties). So, a (rude) telemarketer (is there any other type?? :< ) will deprive the callee of those "breaks". The psychology being that the callEE (unlike the callER) will be polite and *wait* for such a break (i.e., not INTERRUPT).

It requires extra effort on the callee's part *to* interrupt and invalidate the caller's routine.

Again, exploiting expected behaviors for unexpected results.

I don't do YouTube (or other "videos"). But, I'll assume it's appropriate "eye candy"? ;-)

A timer with an LCD message - "your knock has been recorded and will be forwarded in 30 seconds - please wait."

"29 seconds -please wait." etc

or just use a numbered chit system "Please take a number and go away"

A doorbell button that looks like it is the trigger of a mouse trap.

It's from the "Frau Bleucher" scene in "Young Frankenstein".

YouTube is fine and safe, so you must simply be pissed about the overt spam structure.

Ha!

A doorbell that *is* a mousetrap! And, "twitches" when you make contact with it -- followed by the *sound* of it "snapping"!

Paramedic #1: "Gee, I wonder what happened to this guy?" Paramedic #2: "Looks like a massive heart attack. I wonder what spooked him, standing here on the front porch??"