As far as I can see, the way to win is to not actually make anything, but patent a bunch of obvious stuff that everyone has been doing for years (not that the examiner would know because he's fresh out of school and has no previous experience in your field or any other field for that matter), and then threaten people who may (or more likely may not) actually infringe your dodgy patents, demanding slightly less than the cost of fighting you in court. Since you don't make anything, they can't threaten you back with their patents, and it is cheaper to pay you off than to prove that you're lying. It seems to be a very popular and successful business model these days. Just don't make anything or it all gets tricky.
Chris