Contact your Christian family member, co-worker, classmate, neighbor, and go to church this Sunday. Ask that person the questions you have, and it's okay to not be sure who God is, if He's real, etc. As long as you're seeking the honest answers to your questions you're on the right path.
Say a little prayer before you go also, asking God to guide you to the right people. And if you see them doing things that Christian's shouldn't do, then don't be afraid to leave and find another person. Not everybody who professes to be a Christian or know Jesus Christ actually does. You will know them by their fruits. Look for the little signs, and don't ignore them. If you need, go back to God in prayer and ask again. And if you still can't find someone of serious faith, then go to a local church and talk to the people there. You will know with them the same way as you would know with those close to you ... look for the little signs, and continue to ask God to help you. He will.
I love you. There is peace and forgiveness in Jesus Christ for all the bad stuff you've done. He doesn't want to punish you, but wants to forgive you and guide you from this day forward into all proper things. He will do this for you beginning today, even right now, if you'll let Him.
Love. It's why He came to the Earth. He loves you, and wants you to have a real future filled with love and hope.
Best regards, Rick C. Hodgin