Tektronix 465 Scope

Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy, enough to make the mixture pliable. Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll. Place seam down in a baking pan. Ladle tomato gravy on top, and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.

Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, so why not consume it? Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts) 4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese Flour eggwash (milk and eggs) seasoned bread crumbs 1 onion minced salt pepper butter olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical cords so they won?t be tough). Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion then fold in half, trimming neatly. Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; allow to sit for a few minutes. Sauté in butter and olive oil until golden brown, about 6 minutes on each side.

Shish Kababes

As old as the hills, this technique has employed seafood, beef, pork, lamb, poultry, and vegetables; just about anything can be grilled, and young humans are no exception!

High quality marinade (Teriyaki and garlic perhaps)

1 inch cubes of tender meat, preferably from the nursery Onions bell peppers Wooden or metal skewers

Marinate the meat overnight. Get the grill good and hot while placing meat, vegetables, and fruit such as pineapples or cherries on the skewers. Don?t be afraid to use a variety of meats. Grill to medium rare, serve with garlic cous-cous and sautéed asparagus. Coffee and sherbet for desert then walnuts, cheese, and port. Cigars for the gentlemen (and ladies if they so desire)!

tomatoes mayonnaise, etc.

Marinate the fetuses in the egg-mustard mixture. Dredge thoroughly in flour. Fry at 375° until crispy golden brown. Remove and place on paper towels.

Holiday Youngster

One can easily adapt this recipe to ham, though as presented, it violates no religious taboos against swine.

1 large toddler or small child, cleaned and de-headed Kentucky Bourbon Sauce (see index) 1 large can pineapple slices Whole cloves

Place him (or ham) or her in a large glass baking dish, buttocks up. Tie with butcher string around and across so that he looks like he?s crawling. Glaze, then arrange pineapples and secure with cloves. Bake uncovered in 350° oven till thermometer reaches 160°.

Cajun Babies

Just like crabs or crawfish, babies are boiled alive! You don?t need silverware, the hot spicy meat comes off in your hands.

6 live babies 1 lb. smoked sausage 4 lemons whole garlic 2 lb. new potatoes 4 ears corn 1 box salt crab boil

Bring 3 gallons of water to a boil. Add sausage, salt, crab boil, lemons and garlic. Drop potatoes in, boil for 4 minutes. Corn is added next, boil an additional 11 minutes. Put the live babies into the boiling water and cover. Boil till meat comes off easily with a fork.

Oven-Baked Baby-Back Ribs

Beef ribs or pork ribs can be used in this recipe, and that is exactly what your dinner guests will assume! An excellent way to expose the uninitiated to this highly misunderstood yet succulent source of protein.

2 human baby rib racks 3 cups barbecue sauce or honey glaze (see index)

through using a 3/16 grinding plate. Add garlic, onions and seasoning then mix well. Add just enough water for a smooth consistency, then mix again. Form the sausage mixture into patties or stuff into natural casings.

Stillborn Stew

By definition, this meat cannot be had altogether fresh, but have the lifeless unfortunate available immediately after delivery, or use high quality beef or pork roasts (it is cheaper and better to cut up a whole roast than to buy stew meat).

1 stillbirth, de-boned and cubed ¼ cup vegetable oil 2 large onions bell pepper celery garlic ½ cup red wine 3 Irish potatoes 2 large carrots

This is a simple classic stew that makes natural gravy, thus it does not have to be thickened. Brown the meat quickly in very hot oil, remove and set aside. Brown the onions, celery, pepper and garlic. De-glaze with wine, return meat to the pan and season well. Stew on low fire adding small amounts of water and seasoning as necessary. After at least half an hour, add the carrots and potatoes, and simmer till root vegetables break with a fork. Cook a fresh pot of long grained white rice.

Pre-mi

a little cornstarch (dissolved in cold water) to the sauce. You are just about there, Pour the sauce over the cutlets, top with parsley, lemon slices and cracked pepper. Serve with spinach salad, macaroni and cheese (homemade) and iced tea...

Spaghetti with Real Italian Meatballs

If you don?t have an expendable bambino on hand, you can use a pound of ground pork instead. The secret to great meatballs, is to use very lean meat.

1 lb. ground flesh; human or pork 3 lb. ground beef 1 cup finely chopped onions 7 - 12 cloves garlic 1 cup seasoned bread crumbs ½ cup milk, 2 eggs Oregano basil salt pepper Italian seasoning, etc. Tomato gravy (see index) Fresh or at least freshly cooked spaghetti or other pasta

Mix the ground meats together in a large bowl, then mix each of the other ingredients. Make balls about the size of a baby?s fist (there should be one lying around for reference). Bake at 400°for about 25 minutes - or you could fry them in olive oil. Place the meatballs in the tomato gravy, and simmer for several hours. Serve on spaghetti. Accompany with green salad, garlic bread and red wine.

Newborn Parmesan

This classic Sicilian cuisine can easily be turned into Eggplant Parmesan If you are planning a vegetarian meal. Or you could just as well use veal - after all, you have to be careful - Sicilians are touchy about their young family members...

6 newborn or veal cutlets Tomato gravy (see index) 4 cups mozzarella, 1cup parmesan, 1cup romano Seasoned bread crumbs mixed with parmesan romano salt pepper oregano garlic powder chopped parsley Flour eggwash (eggs and milk) Peanut oil for frying.

Pound the cutlets. Dredge in flour, eggs, th

or until pie crust is golden brown.

Sudden Infant Death Soup

SIDS: delicious in winter, comparable to old fashioned Beef and Vegetable Soup. Its free, you can sell the crib, baby clothes, toys, stroller... and so easy to procure if such a lucky find is at hand (just pick him up from the crib and he?s good to go)!

SIDS victim, cleaned ½ cup cooking oil Carrots onions broccoli whole cabbage fresh green beans potato turnip celery tomato ½ stick butter

1 cup cooked pasta (macaroni, shells, etc.)

Remove as much meat as possible, cube, and brown in hot oil. Add a little water, season, then add the carcass. Simmer for half an hour keeping the stock thick. Remove the carcass and add the vegetables slowly to the stock, so that it remains boiling the whole time. Cover the pot and simmer till vegetables are tender (2 hours approximately). Continue seasoning to taste. Before serving, add butter and pasta, serve piping with hot bread and butter.

Offspring Rolls

Similar to Vietnamese style fried rolls, they have lots of meat (of course this can consist of chicken, beef, pork, or shrimp). Who can resist this classic appetizer; or light lunch served with a fresh salad? Versatility is probably this recipe?s gre

human filets, or ground chuck Onions peppers celery garlic soy sauce salt pepper, etc Olive oil breadcrumbs Tomato Gravy (see index)

Boil the cabbage leaves for 2 minutes to soften. In skillet, brown the meat in a little olive oil, then add onions, peppers, and celery (all chopped finely) and season well. Place in a large bowl and cool. Add seasoned breadcrumbs and a little of the tomato gravy, enough to make the mixture pliable. Divide the stuffing among the cabbage leaves then roll. Place seam down in a baking pan. Ladle tomato gravy on top, and bake at 325° for 30 - 45 minutes.

Umbilical Cordon Bleu

Nothing is so beautiful as the bond between mother and child, so why not consume it? Children or chicken breasts will work wonderfully also.

4 whole umbilical chords (or baby breasts, or chicken breasts) 4 thin slices of smoked ham, and Gruyere cheese Flour eggwash (milk and eggs) seasoned bread crumbs 1 onion minced salt pepper butter olive oil

Pound the breasts flat (parboil first if using umbilical cords so they won?t be tough). Place a slice of ham and cheese on each, along with some minced onion then fold in half, trimming neatly. Dredge in flour, eggwash, then seasoned breadcrumbs; allow t