Lifted from rec.audio.tubes and uk.rec.audio newsgroups today. This may interest you out there!
Dear Mr. Rio,
I think it's about time my boy Philip had a real job. He's been running a muck since he moved to Sydney and I'm sure that cramped and damp little bed-sit flat isn't doing him any good either. He doesn't have any friends up there and a job in Melbourne would mean he can come and live closer to his mum where I can keep an eye on him.
Phillip says he's an expert on hi-fi. He's got one of those CD thingies he bought back in 1983 which he still uses, built his own speakers from a kit and he uses an amplifier he fixed up after collecting it from the verge throw out a couple of years ago. I noticed in your advertisement that you will offer to train him. Just as well, because just between me and you I think he has a bit of catching up to do.
He writes to me every so often and says his toaster fixing business isn't doing too well so I'm hoping you might consider giving my boy a job in your store. He isn't too keen on that HT stuff but I'm sure you will bring him to his senses sooner of later. He doesn't have good people skills even though he has frequently said "...all my posts are brilliant examples of communication, either on some technical point related to hi-fi..... ". Perhaps you can find him a job keeping the storeroom tidy where no one will hear him swearing?
I hope you don't sell Quad speakers. Philip isn't very good at those. A couple of years back he bought a pair while I was up visiting him in his Sydney bed-sit. Within hours of getting them home he was taking one of them apart with a screwdriver. There was this terrible sparking and a small puff of smoke came out of the back of one of them. Frightened the hell out of me. It didn't work after that. Philip assured me the speaker must have been faulty and was going to take them back first thing next week and demand his money back.
Now I know my Philip is devoted to his work. He's never been married and doesn't have a girlfriend, although I'm not completely sure of that, as there was a pink tutu hanging in his wardrobe along with some red glitter stiletto shoes. Anyhow Philip has never mentioned her and I surely have not been introduced.
Philip's Education: Catholic schooling
4 years of Latin 1 University drop out.Please, please, please give my Philip a meaningful job. Heaven knows he needs the money and a way to usefully occupy his time. you can reach him on 02 9799 8242
Sincerely,
Mrs. Allison (Phil's mum).