Quantum mechanical effects affect British troops

British soldiers have experienced alarming consequences from quantum effect. It occurs when changing into the standard military khaki jumper with elbow pads in the dark.

This woolen item offers vital protection to our boys. They can be bought from any army surplus stores, a major source since the British government has been strapped for cash due to unsecured borrowing in the peerage-nod-and-a-wink affair.

The wool keeps the body warm in the desert and the elbow pads offer extra protection when crawling, from stones and IEDs.

If the garment is put on during the day, these pads always end up, correctly, on the elbows. But when done at night in total darkness, there is a fifty fifty chance that they will also end up on the

Researchers here at the Anglian Regional Space Effort have concluded that this is the first repeatable evidence of quantum effects in the macro. It only happens in the absence of an observer.