OT: PG-13 Joke of the Day

A man getting along in years finds that he is unable to perform sexually. He finally goes to his doctor who tries a few things, but nothing seems to work. So the doctor refers him to an American Indian medicine man.

The medicine man says, "I can cure this." With that said, he throws a white powder in a flame, and there is a flash with billowing blue smoke. Then he says, "This is powerful healing but you can only use it once a year. All you have to do is say 123, and it shall rise for as long as you wish!"

The guy then asks, "What happens when it's over, and I don't want to continue?"

The medicine man replies, "All you or your partner has to say is 1234, and it will go down. But be warned: It will not work again for another year."

The old gent rushes home, anxious to try out his new powers and prowess.

That night, he is ready to surprise his wife. He showers, shaves, and puts on his most exotic cologne. Peeling off his underwear, he climbs naked into bed. Excitedly, he says to his wife, "123" ... and suddenly he has the most gigantic erection ever, just as the medicine man had promised.

His wife, who had been facing away from him, sleepily turns over and asks, "What did you say '123' for?"

Reply to
Rich the Newsgroup Wacko
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snip Over Technical stuff

Tony Blair started jogging near his home in Chequers. Every day, he'd jog past a hooker standing on the same street corner. He learned to brace himself as he approached her for what was almost certain to follow.

"Fifty pounds!" she'd shout from the kerb.

"No! Five pounds!" Tony would fire back.

This ritual between Tony and the hooker became a daily occurrence. He'd run by and she'd yell, "Fifty pounds!" He'd yell back, "Five pounds!"

One day, Cherie decided that she wanted to accompany her husband on his jog. As the jogging couple neared the working woman's street corner, Tony realised she'd bark her £50 offer and Cherie would wonder what he'd really been doing on all his past outings.

He figured he'd better have a darn good explanation for the 'Boss'.

As they jogged into the turn that would take them past the corner, Tonybecame even more apprehensive than usual.

Sure enough, there was the hooker. Tony tried to avoid her eyes as she watched the pair jog past.

Then, from the pavement, the hooker yelled,

"See what you get for five quid?!"

martin

Reply to
martin griffith

I believe that story originated in the era of Henry VIII.

Jim

Reply to
RST Engineering (jw)

It worked quite well with Bill and Hilary too.

Bob

Reply to
Bob Stephens

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the crap table.

A very attractive blonde woman from Kentucky arrived and bet twenty-thousand dollars ($20,000) on a single roll of the dice.

She said, "I hope y'all don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that, she stripped from the neck down, rolled the dice and yelled, "Come on, baby, Mama needs new clothes!"

As the dice came to a stop she jumped up and down and squealed...

"YES! YES! I WON, I WON!" She hugged each of the dealers and then picked up her winnings and her clothes and quickly departed.

The dealers stared at each other dumfounded.

Finally, one of them asked, "What did she roll?"

The other answered, "I don't know ~ I thought you were watching."

Moral: Not all Kentuckians are stupid and not all blondes are dumb, but all men are men.

Reply to
Keith Williams

Lucky for her she got the only two straight dealers in Vegas.

Best regards, Spehro Pefhany

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Reply to
Spehro Pefhany

[snip]

Let's get back on topic.

Two EE students meet on campus.

"Wow! Where did you get that great brand-new bicycle from?"

"Well, this weird thing happened to me yesterday. I was hanging around outside when all of a sudden this beautiful blonde came riding along on this bike, stopped right in front of me, stripped naked and said, 'You can have whatever you want.'"

"The bike was the right choice -- the clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway."

robert

Reply to
Robert Latest

try here

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martin

Reply to
martin griffith

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