And to think I used to do this for a living... My Pi ZERO W heating controller is alive, but it took some forceps...
First Problem:
Not all transistors are created equal. I used obsolete transistors that I used to use years ago - BC182... but they didn't work. Turns out today's BC182 has a different pinout from what I was used to - *BC182L* was the solution. That worked.
Second Problem:
Pi connectors. I bought kit to make up Pi female connectors to go from the pins on one board to pins on another. I wasted a whole day and a half and was completely unable to make a satisfactory lead up , either by crimping or by soldering. Gave up and bought jumper leads.
Third problem:
All earths are not created equal. I wanted to use a 5 way connector to pins 31,33,35,37 with pin 39 as power and signal earth on the Pi Zero W.
I don't know what pin 39 is connected to, but it sure ain't earth. maybe via a high resistance, but not enough to power a Pi. I used pin 6, and that worked...
There are still some software issues to resolve, but the unit now has a nice 3D printed case and the relays all click and the LEDs all light...
*phew*.