No one else seems to need gold in their lead-free solders to obtain high reliability, there must be some very unusual situation to require that, or someone not well informed about other alloys on the market. Being very smart is not a subsitute for being very well informed. Look at figure 1 in the following reference, considering that the energy to fracture is the area under the curve. Then compare the fatigue properties. It is clear that tin-lead would eventually be replaced by lead-free alloys for high reliability applications even without ROHS, because the properties important for reliability are significantly better.
The notion that lead stays put in landfills is simply false, lead is measurable in the ground water leachate from many landfills. The Oklo natural reactor plume is not a good model of a landfill. Whether the amount of lead leached from landfills is worth the cost of removing it is another matter, I have never seen an economic analysis supporting either side of that argument, but the cost of converting to lead-free has been small compared to other ways we squander our money uselessly.
Most who post on the subject here complain about non-issues like tin whiskers, which are associated only with tin electroplating and have absolutely nothing to do with lead-free solder (no tin whisker has ever been observed growing from lead-free solder), or nonsense about brittle bond layers with ENIG (the gold and nickel are completely dissolved in the solder and a solid copper to solder bond is formed with any current lead-free process), or complaining about the slightly inferior shock resistance of the lowest cost SAC alloy when SAC is simply not a viable option for anything but high volume consumer grade electronics. These complaints are pure nonsense, the reliability of lead free electronics today exceeds the reliability of the old tin-lead process by a significant margin according to every published report I have seen from those who measure the reliability of their products.