OT:Re: Paper Clips (humour)

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>> Like their larger relatives the wire coat hangers and >> like their smaller cousins the amoebae, paper clips reproduce >> by fission. > > Those are European paper clips. The American paper clip is > a different species. The clip form is the immature grub of the > species. > > The clip form is primarily used for foraging and short disance > dispersal. Each sheet of paper is nibbled for a tiny amount > of material, both ink and paper, with the occasional snack > on a staple. Occasionally a paper clip will get sent through > postal delivery to a very distant location. > > The clip form will eventually become reclusive and migrate to > a secluded dark place and molt into a wire coat hanger. This > is why you will find no coat hangers and dozens of paper clips, > then later you have too many hangers and no paper clips. > > The hanger form forages again, primarily consuming clothing > lint and dry cleaner tags. A high-risk high-return dispersal > strategy is followed, depending on travellers who take their > own hangers during travel, then forget them or bring back > other hangers. > > The hanger is only an immature form, not yet the adult. The > hanger will eventually also become reclusive, seeking a dark > outdoorsy spot to molt into a bicycle. Bikes will then lurk in > dark allies, frequently in commercial or industrial areas, > find mates, and produce spores that hatch into paper clips. > Then they will die, frequently being collected by the police and > auctioned in their annual police auctions. The spores, when > they find fertile ground in a supply store, will hatch into > large numbers of paper clips, which are then attracted to > small plastic boxes and sold. > Socks
Reply to
Rich Grise
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Staples.

WANG, get in there you bastard.

FUCK!

OK.... You were just sacrificial. Let's line things up.......

WANG.... bugger...

CRUNCH.....shit...

Ahhhhhhhh hhhhhhh I know.

Next time I get asked for my Christmas Wish I'll wish a BIG FUCK OFF AND DIE STAPLER.

Next year I can suggest some BIG FUCK OFF AND DIE STAPLES.

Sorted.

DNA

Reply to
Genome

Simply not true.

The sock is the larval form of the coat hanger.

They metamorphise in dark closets.

--
Many thanks,

Don Lancaster                          voice phone: (928)428-4073
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Reply to
Don Lancaster

If you try out one of Staples' (the company's) new-fangled staplers

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I'll send you one of their "That was easy!" talking buttons
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so that you can avoid having an aneurism... :-)

Reply to
Joel Kolstad

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Your first link arsk me for ZIP cod.

This do not cause busted blud vesl.

Being kunning + read instructions am enter five fig number 12345.

So system let me look at produkt.

Sure look like puff too me.

DNA

Reply to
Genome

Nonsense. The sock (singular, because when a pair of socks go into the laundry only one comes out) is the adult form. Its function in the adult stage is (of course) to reproduce by broadcasting its spores, which we call "lint." Ancient legend supposed that socks eventually developed into much larger forms called "sacks," but modern scientific methods have put the lie to such balderdash -- although, it must be admitted, the legend still survives among ill-educated countryfolk who still believe in Bigfoot.

Immature bicycles are coat hangers, immature coat hangers are paper clips, immature paper clips are staples. Period. What part of "Darwin is laughing at you while riding backwards on a bicycle and whistling `Dixie'" don't you understand?

--
Eric Sosman
esosman@acm-dot-org.invalid
Reply to
Eric Sosman

A sordid tale, indeed. %-}

Reply to
Rich, but drunk

Aha - you still fail to understand the reason for odd socks, the sock-wash wormhole, which also assists their genetic distribution.

When two machines are both washing socks at the same time, every so often the conditions are right for a sock to tunnel through space-time and emerge in the other machine, thus creating an odd sock in both machines. Half such odd socks are unrecognised by anyone in the household, for obvious reasons.

I'm still hoping to see a hyperspace teleport device built on the same physical principle :-).

Clifford Heath.

Reply to
Clifford Heath

This can be easily overcome by tuning half of the pairs of socks inside out. This inverts the probability function of tunneling for one of the socks This cancels the overall probability of tunneling event taking place.

Regards,

Boris Mohar

Got Knock? - see: Viatrack Printed Circuit Designs (among other things)

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void _-void-_ in the obvious place

Reply to
Boris Mohar

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