OT: Customer Service Horror Stories

[snip]

For every kooky customer call I can give you ten where the "support" person was utterly clueless.

For example, on at least two occasions, cox.net has lost their western region DNS server COMPLETELY, and wouldn't do anything about it until the next scheduled back-up restoration, days away.

When I complained, they started thru their standard bull-shit that it must be my machine, and did I re-boot before I called.

Likewise they've had mail servers down for hours, yet claim they have no system problems.

That's why I think ISPs should be regulated like all other utilities, and should have to rebate charges when they fail to provide normal service.

...Jim Thompson

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|  James E.Thompson, P.E.                           |    mens     |
|  Analog Innovations, Inc.                         |     et      |
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Reply to
Jim Thompson
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[snip]

But how do I send E-mail via the crap ISP, when its server thinks the address doesn't exist?

...Jim Thompson

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|  James E.Thompson, P.E.                           |    mens     |
|  Analog Innovations, Inc.                         |     et      |
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Reply to
Jim Thompson

Share 'em. Here's one from 2003 when I was an internet support rep for a major US internet service provider.

Me: "Thank you for calling _______, my name is..." User: "Fix my e-mail!" Me: "Yessir, may I have your account num..." User: "No, just fix my mail!" Me: "Well... sir... to do that, I need to bring up your account..." User: "You have all my account info right there, why do all you people think I was born yesterday!" Me: (sighing) "I don't sir, but to bring up your account I am required to verify..." User: "I don't care what you are required to do, just fix my mail! Call whoever you have to call, do whatever you have to do, just fix it! Before I go insane!" Me: Me: "What seems to be the problem sir?" User: "The government has turned off my e-mail again and this is going to stop NOW!" Me: "I'm sorry, did you say the government..." User: "Don't mock me, dolt! Just like the last guy. Read my account notes!" Me: "Excuse me? Look pal, I'm trying to help you here. One more insult like that and I WILL terminate this call. Now do you want help or not?" User: "Do I have a choice? Fine. As I've already explained in the last seventeen million calls," (looking at his account history there is a long list of rude calls, all escalated to supervisors), "The government has turned off my e-mail yet again. I can't send or receive anything, it's so goddamn frustrating! Eschelon-this, cypher-that! Why do they keep meddling in my MY private business! All I want to do is send an email to my family..." (guy almost starts sobbing) Me: "Well I can definately understand your dilemma... and we should be able to fix this. Can we start some troubleshoot..." User: "Oh no you don't! I'm not spending four more hours on the phone when the problem isn't me! You're gonna have to call Washington, I'm telling you its the gov... nevermind, just give me your supervisor!"

;)

-- "Why do computer math geeks confuse Halloween with Christmas? OCT31 = DEC25." Jim at RSTengineering

Reply to
Mark Jones

DEC25."

IIRC, SBC has dns.indianapolis.com or .net. You can pop some domain names into whois at samspade.org and find a DNS that works when your normal one is down. Just put it in your network TCP/IP settings

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

DEC25."

Yeah. Read your contrct. It's not guaranteed that you can even connect let alone expect a certain transfer rate.

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

Auto parts counter droids are often idiots.

I had a guy tell me the gov't was watching, too :)

My favorite was after 3 weeks of DSL training when I was side-jacking ( :) ) with this great looking AmerIndian babe, handle "shy_fox". US Prime, Grade A, stamped "Guaranteed".

Cust: "Yes, I can't log onto the internet."

shy_fox: "Ok, maam, what's your user name?"

Cust: "Candy S."

It was an ebonics chick and it sounded like "candy-ass". So after a few attempts.

shy_fox: "Maam, I can't get your account to come up. You should've been able to connect when you did the online registration and this tech support number is only for people who have connected at least once. Otherwise you need to call self-installation support. Were you able to connect when you registered?"

That's always a good blow off to keep the call times down. Setting up e-mail and such kills the call times.

Cust: "I guess. My boyfrien' did all dat."

Me: [quick note to shy_fox] "Try candyass."

And there she was. Her boyfriend registered her as "candyass". Boy was she pissed off.

I took a while for shy_fox and I to get it together enough to take another call.

DEC25."

I didn't know they did.

We normally didn't get customers into the registry, but one guy seemed smart enough to handle it. He swore neither he nor his wife ever visited a p*rn site, but some site set his registry to always use a p*rn site for a home page ( changing it in IE didn't help) and a registry search on the URL, got it cleaned up.

At that time, Ameritech (soon to be SBC) was giving people Compaqs and DSL for $30 a month, so every bonehead on welfare in Chicago was getting a computer and bugging the hell out of us. Late at night, you'd get the wackos. Some old black dude called in.

Toby: "When I open IE it goes to a p*rn site and I get a box that pops up. It says, 'Logon to Free Sex Now.' And there's an ok button."

Me: [LOL] "Just 'cause that sex is free, doesn't mean it's safe."

Toby: "So I've found out."

I wasn't about to mess with that one. The Compaqs came with a recovery disk so I referred him to Compaq tech support.

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

You don't. Try mollymail or whatever web-based e-mail you can find that's not associated with those cheap-assed low-contractor-paying Coxuckers. If it goes through you've got your guns loaded for bear, not that that'll get you anywhere with Cox. An old partner of mine and some other country boys suggest a 12 gauge shotgun and a dish. Aim at the hardline. Maybe a rifle for the amps and LEs. Feed a contractor.

I remember a woman in Chicago that kept getting bounces on mails to a client in FL. It turned out that her client's ISP would not accept mail from a non-secure server. Ameritech had such a POS server.

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

I asked a woman to right click on the desktop and she started tapping her pen[cil] on the work surface.

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

In 1984, I was the Director of Technology for a small firm (28 employees) and managed a small staff of programmers. However, I set aside 2 hours of time, on every other day, to handle screened technical calls our support staff couldn't fathom or handle well. I got this one (reduced for brevity) from a lady:

HER: "I can't get the program to work." ME: "What's not working?" HER: "Nothing. It just won't work for me." ME: "Can you describe the problem?" HER: "Well, it just doesn't work. Nothing happens." ME: "What screen are you looking at? What does the screen show you?" HER: "What do you mean?" ME: "Well, on the screen... what words can you see there?" HER: "I don't know." ME: "Do you see any words you can tell me about?" HER: "Well, the program's not working. There's nothing." ME: "Is the computer on?" HER: "On? How do I tell?" ME: "Do you see, on your right side towards the back.. a BIG RED switch?" HER: "Hmm... Yes, there is one there." ME: "Would you try and flip it to the other position for me?" HER: "Oh! It's working!! Something is happening!" ....

Sometimes, I have wondered how this person ever managed to feed herself.

Jon

Reply to
Jonathan Kirwan

Jim, you need a second account, such as gmx, yahoo, whatever. Then another DNS and youre done.

Rene

Reply to
Rene Tschaggelar

You idiots that reply at the bottom of a long post without snipping DO understand that nobody reads your stuff, don't you?\

Jim

Reply to
RST Engineering (jw)

snipping DO

They ARE about as bad as the TOP POSTERS aren't they?

Reply to
Clarence_A

DEC25."

....AND the rebates must by law come out of the pocket of the CEO!

Reply to
Robert Baer

Cut some slack; there are at least a few of us that are not stupid and are intrested...

Reply to
Robert Baer

the

DEC25."

You want to give them even less of an incentive to pay?

--
  Keith
Reply to
keith

I wouldn't be surprised if that started enough class-action suits to wreck the infrastructure. Then the gov't would have to get their noses into it further. That's scary thought #2 for the day.

Shhh ;)

And sorry, I misspoke. Molly Mail gets you into your ISP mail from "anywhere in the world." I guess not all ISPs have webmail.

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I like google's gmail for an alternate. You get free storage space, too, FWIW.

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Best Regards,
Mike
Reply to
Active8

DEC25."

I know what you mean. I had to make similar calls last week to Dell. I'm the one to convince Dell their GX280's PCI bus isn't according to the PCI startup timing specifications. I wonder how long it will take me to get them to fix it.... I tried to leave it alone so one of my collegues would make the call, but no such luck.

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Reply to
Nico Coesel

Folks can pooh-pooh Google Groups (I'm read this there now), but now that the new Beta has the - Show quoted text - thing, I can see the whole untruncated post--and on one screen (usually) and view the blockquoted stuff easily, if necessary.

A newsreader isn't hasn't got anything over a browser on that point.

Reply to
JeffM

I read it.

Reply to
Carl D. Smith

Jim, I could give you an invite to

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- very nice free webmail with POP3 capability.

Reply to
Mark Jones

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