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OT: Actual Craig's List Ad Was: Guns Save Lives -- Again!

From: "Dudley Brown"

> > Congratulations to the unnamed hero of this story. =A0You saved your > friends' lives.

More:

AN ACTUAL CRAIG'S LIST PERSONALS AD

To the Guy Who Tried to Mug Me in Downtown Savannah night before last.

Date: 2009-05-27, 1 :43 a.m. E.S.T.

I was the guy wearing the black Burberry jacket that you demanded that I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend, threatening our lives. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I can only hope that you somehow come across this rather important message.

First, I'd like to apologize for your embarrassment; I didn't expect you to actually crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket.. The evening was not that cold, and I was wearing the jacket for a reason.. My girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for my birthday, and we had picked up a shoulder holster for it that very evening. Obviously you agree that it is a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head ... isn't it?!

I know it probably wasn't fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse walking bare-footed since I made you leave your shoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. [That prevented you from calling or running to your buddies to come help mug us again].

After I called your mother or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, I explained the entire episode of what you'd done. Then I went and filled up my gas tank as well as those of four other people in the gas station, -- on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!

I gave your shoes to a homeless guy outside Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all the cash in your wallet. [That made his day!]

I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car

Later, I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell phone. Ma Bell just now shut down the line, although I only used the phone for a little over a day now, so what 's going on with that? Earlier, I managed to get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI, while mentioning President Obama as my possible target.

The FBI guy seemed really intense and we had a nice long chat (I guess while he traced your number etc.).

;In a way, perhaps I should apologize for not killing you ... but I feel this type of retribution is a far more appropriate punishment for your threatened crime. I wish you well as you try to sort through some of these rather immediate pressing issues, and can only hope that you have the opportunity to reflect upon, and perhaps reconsider, the career path you've chosen to pursue in life.. Remember, next time you might not be so lucky.Have a good day!

Thoughtfully yours,

Alex

------------------------

Cheers! Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise on Google groups
Loading thread data ...

Well, assuming it isn't BS (which appears likely), what do you think about this bit?

" I then threw your wallet into the big pink "pimp mobile" that was parked at the curb .... after I broke the windshield and side window and keyed the entire driver's side of the car"

What would you have done if you saw him trashing your car?

Reply to
Beryl

...

I think Alex went a little overboard and unnecessarily escalated a crime which should have been nipped in the bud.

I'd have tried to stop him, of course, but who drives a big pink pimpmobile anyway?

Admittedly, the story is a little over the top, and Alex went overboard on his response, but it does make a point that an armed citizen deterred a crime - it's shameful that he went on a crime spree of his own, I agree, but that doesn't alter the fact that private gun ownership _does_ deter crime. In fact, if the owner of the big pink pimpmobile had caught Alex in the act, he should have shot Alex's kneecaps off.

Be careful what you ask for! ;-)

Thanks, Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise on Google groups

A big pink pimp?

--
Richard Heathfield 
Email: -http://www. +rjh@
"Usenet is a strange place" - dmr 29 July 1999
Sig line vacant - apply within
Reply to
Richard Heathfield

LOL...it is a joke...a poor one.

TMT

Reply to
Too_Many_Tools

Rich Grise on Google groups wrote: ...

Well, Alex sure taught him a lesson. Leaves me wondering how the unsuccessful knife wielding robber is going to approach his next victim.

Reply to
Beryl

Ask your mother about poor jokes, TooStupid.

Reply to
krw

Your two mommies didn't think it was a joke when he was calling them on the phone.

Reply to
Burled Frau

Hey, Rich. I was wondering where you'd gone. Why've you gone over to the dark side?

I've whitelisted you, now.

-- "Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it." (Stephen Leacock)

Reply to
Fred Abse

Again...it is fake.

TMT

Reply to
Too_Many_Tools

t

ng

Ma

I

LOL...have you seen your Kenyan birth certificate yet...just wondering what species your father was?

TMT

Reply to
Too_Many_Tools

LOL, which one? TMT has Too_Many_Mommies!

Reply to
Burled Frau

But, it's an ACTUAL CRAIGSLIST AD! And it's already got "Best Of" votes by now. Next time a Mongol's vandalized Harley will be added to Alex's performance.

Reply to
Beryl

A: What do you mean, "Dark Side?" I've always been on the side of the Constitution, and Individual Liberty. Freedom is my Worship Word. And it says right in black and white, "The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed."

B: Why do you set your posts as non-archive? I know _I'm_ never ashamed of my words.

Thanks, Rich

Reply to
Rich Grise on Google groups

Yep, TooStupid is definitely AlwaysWrong's long lost Siamese twin.

Reply to
krw

I think, in this case "Dark Side" == "Google Groups"

Good question.

Reply to
krw

Google

To piss off Google Groupers ;-)

--
"Electricity is of two kinds, positive and negative. The difference
is, I presume, that one comes a little more expensive, but is more
durable; the other is a cheaper thing, but the moths get into it."
                                             (Stephen Leacock)
Reply to
Fred Abse

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