Are these things just utterly useless? It would appear* that the USB handling in MPLAB-X is poorly tested. Might be that "grab reset on the DUT" is the problem.
*can't really tell which end of the cable is at fault - although the "IDT" grabs it nine out of ten falls.There is even an app note not to use the PICKit3 "for production".
An ICD3 works just fine.