OT: satiric letter, 'Chairman of GM'

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GM is on track to corner the "can't make the payments" segment of the market.

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John Larkin                  Highland Technology Inc 
www.highlandtechnology.com   jlarkin at highlandtechnology dot com    

Precision electronic instrumentation 
Picosecond-resolution Digital Delay and Pulse generators 
Custom timing and laser controllers 
Photonics and fiberoptic TTL data links 
VME  analog, thermocouple, LVDT, synchro, tachometer 
Multichannel arbitrary waveform generators
Reply to
John Larkin
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November 1, 2013 Letter from the 'Chairman of GM'-- Update on the Volt--

Editor's note: You'll see today's Friday Digest veers from our normal format. The "Chairman of GM" has penned another in the series of satiric letters we've published over the years. We hope you enjoy it--

Dear shareholders,

As I'm sure you've seen, our stock price jumped higher this week on heavy trading.

We earned lots of applause in the press and even on Wall Street because we reported outstanding operating results. It's true-- on an operating basis-- General Motors is doing better than many people (including me) thought possible.

What explains the quarterly surge in profits? In North America, we launched a new version of our best-selling truck, the Silverado.

This helped drive North American sales and units higher. Units sold increased 6.5% over last year. Our operating income from the automotive business globally was up by 40% over last year's third quarter. On an operating basis, we made more than $2 billion selling cars in the quarter, up from $1.4 billion in last year's third quarter.

Our automotive margins increased, too, from 3.9% "all the way" to 5.5%. I've been crowing publicly about the increase in margins and the strength of our Chevy brand.

But privately-- I've got plenty of concerns.

You see, all of these numbers are presented on an "operating" basis. We make plenty of other "adjustments," too. At the risk of spoiling the surprise in this letter, let me simply summarize by explaining that our real earnings-- the earnings attributable to common-stock holders-- fell by about 50%. Even worse, our market share in North America fell, too ? even in trucks. You'll notice I didn't mention anything about that in the quarterly press release.

Instead, to cover up the real results, we dusted off our bag of accounting tricks.

Just check out the headlines on the slides that accompanied our latest quarterly results press release: "Impact of Special Items," "Consolidated EBIT -- Adjusted," "Adjusted Automotive Free Cash Flow," and my personal favorite: "Operating Income Walk to EBIT-Adjusted."

I challenge any financial analyst outside of GM to explain what "Walk to EBIT- Adjusted" means-- or come up with any sensible explanation for why we would present our results in this way.

At GM, we're doing our best to make sure that no one can possibly understand what's really happening in our company.

But privately, I can tell you what's really going on--

The truth is, we're barely hanging on to the market share we've got. Yes, trucks bolstered our results. And yes, we sold a lot of trucks. But we didn't sell nearly as much as our competition. We actually lost market share in the U.S. truck market.

You must remember that, at GM, we can't compete on brand. We can't compete on quality. And we can't compete on price because of the huge amount of overcapacity in the worldwide car-manufacturing industry. As a result, we must compete on credit: We will lend to just about any potential car buyer.

Lots of Americans have terrible credit. So our lend-no-matter-what strategy can create a lot of business in the short term. In fact, our loan and lease book increased by almost $9 billion over the last year.

But this strategy won't work for long.

Lending to borrowers who aren't creditworthy only pushes today's losses out into the future. After all, if we weren't making these bad loans to customers who can't really afford a new car or truck, what would our results look like?

Sooner or later, these loans will sour. And the profits we're bragging about today will disappear. Losses will soar.

Why would we knowingly pursue a strategy to "pull forward" sales, even though this will surely cost us massive losses in the future?

You might remember in the last letter I wrote to you as the new Chairman of General Motors, I warned that capitalists were no longer operating GM: What's happening with GM is a microcosm of what's happening with the rest of our society. Where once we sought only a fair opportunity for greatness, now we seek the false security of collectivism. I see it happening right in front of me every day.

The people who control GM ? namely the UAW union and its stooges in Washington ? have decided to cash in while they still can.

In the last quarter, we borrowed $6.6 billion from Wall Street. We needed some of this cash to finance our lending and leasing operations-- but the lion's share of this cash was used to repay legacy union obligations.

We bought back a little more than $3 billion worth of preferred shares from the union's health care trust. Expensing this to earnings cost us $800 million in the last quarter. That's why all of the results we've been boasting about are all on an "operating" basis.

If you look at actual net income that was attributable to shareholders, our results were horrific: We only made $700 million, down from $1.5 billion a year ago. On a per-share basis, genuine net income fell from $0.89 a share to $0.45 a share, a decline of 49%.

As I have long warned you, the "bankruptcy" that GM went through in 2009 didn't address the legacy obligations accrued by the "old" GM and owed to its union employees. We left bankruptcy, which was supposed to wipe GM's slate clean, with the union holding almost $7 billion in preferred stock and more than $26 billion in unfunded pension obligations. Paying for these obligations makes it unlikely that our common-stock holders will ever benefit from our operating profits.

Even Steve Rattner, who put this entire catastrophe in motion, must know it's not going to work out. The government itself is bailing out on the deal as quickly as possible, taking a $10 billion loss.

The union is going to sell next, forcing us to buy back its preferred stock. GM will have to borrow again next year (and take more charges against earnings) to afford the rest of this nearly $4 billion, union-owned, preferred stock. Then-- after we're finished buying back the union's stock-- we'll have to begin paying huge sums into the union pension plan.

The point is-- even if we continue to perform on an "operating" basis, it will probably be years, maybe more than a decade, before we are in a position to actually use our cash flows to benefit our actual owners.

In my last letter to you as the new chairman of GM, I made three bold predictions about the likely future problems at our company. In closing today, I'd like to update you on these predictions.

I predicted that all of our profits-- and more-- would end up in the hands of the unions and retired workers.

In the last nine months, we made $8.2 billion in cash selling cars around the world.

We invested $5.7 billion in property and equipment to maintain our production, leaving us with roughly $2.5 billion in free cash flow. We spent $4 billion in direct payments to the union's health care trust, paying dividends, and buying back preferred shares. Not a single cent was spent on common-stock holders. By my calculations, we spent $1.5 billion more than we really earned on the union's legacy claims last quarter.

I predicted that overcapacity would continue to drive profit margins lower and result in declining market share for GM.

While the last quarter saw our margins increase (thanks to the favorable product mix), our key North American market share continued to decline, a presage of future margin declines.

I predicted that we would begin to borrow massively from Wall Street to finance the buyers of our cars and to finance contributions to our pension fund.

In the last quarter, we saw the first long-term borrowing for the "new" GM. We now owe $6.6 billion to bondholders in a debt financing orchestrated by Wall Street. It's incredible when you think about it. Just four years ago, we defaulted on about $30 billion in bonds. And yet-- the world is willing to lend to us again already. What a bunch of fools!

What's really happening at GM is easy to see if you just take the time to wade through our filings. We're making billions in bad loans to car buyers now, so that we can earn enough money (in the short term) to pay off the union's preferred stock and generate "operating results" that make it easy for the government to sell its common shares.

What happens after that isn't really my concern. But it ought to be yours, if you're holding our common stock.

Regards,

The Chairman of General Motors

P.S. You might wonder what ever happened to the Chevy Volt? Former management spent $1 billion to develop a battery-powered car. Thankfully, nobody wanted one. Sales peaked in 2012 at 23,461. We've only sold 16,760 this year. We were lucky. We've been losing about $50,000 each time we sell a Volt. I wish folks had considered President Obama's track record with the car sector before they voted for his health care plan...

Reply to
Robert Baer

I read this when it first came out. There was also an article (can't find it now) about how GM is losing a ton on trucks because those who buy trucks don't particularly like "Government Motors", or anything to do with the bailout.

All of the manufacturers are doing "well" now because of the pent-up demand from the Obama depression. The kink is that the average age of the new car buyer is 55 - the only people with money[*]. Kids can't afford new cars and may never be able to. The manufacturers will be sucking wind after the boomers stop driving in another decade or two.

[*] Thought it was kinda funny because we bought two this year, replacing vehicles that were 12 and 13 years old. ;-)
Reply to
krw

There are a lot of kids, at least here in SF, that seldom drive, and a goodly number that never learned how.

--

John Larkin                  Highland Technology Inc 
www.highlandtechnology.com   jlarkin at highlandtechnology dot com    

Precision electronic instrumentation 
Picosecond-resolution Digital Delay and Pulse generators 
Custom timing and laser controllers 
Photonics and fiberoptic TTL data links 
VME  analog, thermocouple, LVDT, synchro, tachometer 
Multichannel arbitrary waveform generators
Reply to
John Larkin

The real issue is that there is pent-up demand for new vehicles from those that delayed big ticket purchases during the Bush recession/depression. Now that the economy is recovering, albeit slowly, people feel confident enough to buy a new vehicle, but that pent up demand will soon be satisfied and sales will fall to a more sustainable level. In fact that's already starting to happen. Which carmakers will be able to survive on lower volumes, and which have the ability to raise prices and/or cut incentives. Toyota keeps insisting that they're going to get out of the never-ending incentive game but they never do--you still can buy a new Camry for well under invoice, not just well under MSRP, thanks to all the incentives that are piled on top of each other.

If not for fleet sales to car rental companies things would be much worse for GM. Thankfully, the economic improvements that began under Obama have also led to increased leisure travel which increases demand for rental cars.

Reply to
sms

I would never buy another GM vehicle. They are substandard junk. I had a

2004 GMC PU that had all the brake lines rust. They all had to be replaced.

The brake rotors only lasted 3000 miles then rusted to where they destroyed the pads.

There was a recall for the support cables that hold the tailgate because they were prone to rusting out and causing the tailgate to fall.

GM is shit in my book.

We got a Toyota Rav4 that now has 60k miles and has never had a problem. Not one. And it was made in America in a non-union plant.

GM will fail because obomacare will suck out so much money from the economy that no young person will be able to afford a new car. The people that have money are smart enough to stay well away from a failed car company.

Reply to
tm

Bush was prez when it blew up, but Clinton pushed and signed the laws that lit the fuse.

Do you think so?

Improvements? Government spending, crazy financial instruments, core job losses, Wall Street insanity, and the new dot.com boom will all collide soon. Quantitative Easing, 85 billion a month of stealing savings and pumping stocks, is like riding the tiger's back: you can't get off. The Fed can't ever *think* about easing off, lest Wall Street scream and panic.

Confident? Put all your savings into Twitter stock.

--

John Larkin                  Highland Technology Inc 
www.highlandtechnology.com   jlarkin at highlandtechnology dot com    

Precision electronic instrumentation 
Picosecond-resolution Digital Delay and Pulse generators 
Custom timing and laser controllers 
Photonics and fiberoptic TTL data links 
VME  analog, thermocouple, LVDT, synchro, tachometer 
Multichannel arbitrary waveform generators
Reply to
John Larkin

Clinton's contribution was repealing the Glass Stegal Act. But W was the one that went crazy with spending while at the same time cutting taxes while starting two wars. Do the math.

It always requires Democrats to come in and clean up the mess that Republicans make of the economy. Been that way for 60 years. Eisenhower was the last Republican president that was good for the economy.

Reply to
sms

You left off the smiley ;-)

What we are seeing is the ultimate result of too powerful unions. As they gained ever more political power, they used that power to get more and more benefits for their members. About twenty years ago, it became popular to add these benefits in the pension area, as that moved the cost down the road twenty years. Do the math, the twenty years are up, and all those retirement benfits are coming due. GM is just one such organization, many states and cities are in the same boat - they can't continue their mission because their retirement responsibilities are larger then their available funds.

Reply to
Charlie E.

ote:

Probably not. Trade unions in the US are pathetic. Otehr advanced industria l countries have much more powerful trade unions, and their economies aren' t in any worse shape than the US economy.

In Germany, the trade unions sit on the secondary boards of all but the sma llest companies, and the German economy is a model of good health.

The anti-trade union mania in the US is part and parcel of the defects in t he US constitution that let the people that own the country run the country - that's why the US Gini-index is now 0.45 where respectable countries sit around 0.3, Germany sits at 0.283 and the Scandinavian countries sit aroun d 0.25.

If the 1% weren't so busy creaming off all the US economic growth into thei r own pockets, the US economy would work quite a bit better and even the 1% would do better with a smaller segment of a bigger pie.

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Bill Sloman, Sydney
Reply to
Bill Sloman

Somebody cheap-skated on their routine maintenance. Brake fluid is hydroscopic, and eventually absorbs enough water from the atmosphere to rust the brake cylinders. You've got to drain it and replace it every year or so to avoid this.

It's part of the 30,000 km service package for every car I've ever owned, and my garage did it automatically (and since I drove about 7,500km per year, more frequently than every 30,000km).

I got to find out about it the hard way when I was young and broke and was doing the routine maintenance on my - very old - Peugeot 404 myself.

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Bill Sloman, Sydney
Reply to
Bill Sloman

That's a pretty good attempt at placing the blame but for one fact. The lines rusted from the outside. The fluid was in perfect shape and there was no corrosion within the system. When it happened, I did some googling only to find out it was happening to many other GM owners and to different years.

GM sucks. I will never own another one. Avoid the union label.

Reply to
tm

I can understand it in SF, NYC, or other such cities. I even see it happening elsewhere, though. My son had no interest in diving (in "rural Vermont"). I had to basically force him to get his license (needed him to help drive his mother around). He wasn't unique. Sure mystified me!

Reply to
krw

Rural Vermont?

I considered working for Simmonds Precision in Vergennes, but wound up in California instead. And I had a friend in Gilford Center. Nice people, cold weather, good place to have a car.

--

John Larkin         Highland Technology, Inc 

jlarkin at highlandtechnology dot com 
http://www.highlandtechnology.com 

Precision electronic instrumentation 
Picosecond-resolution Digital Delay and Pulse generators 
Custom laser drivers and controllers 
Photonics and fiberoptic TTL data links 
VME thermocouple, LVDT, synchro   acquisition and simulation
Reply to
John Larkin

The real cheapskates are of course the car designers who chose to use a hygroscopic hydraulic fluid and brake cylinders subject to corrosion! Combined, these two conditions sound like sabotage!

Jeroen Belleman

Reply to
Jeroen Belleman

Well, all of Vermont is rural, if that's what you mean. ;-)

Simmonds is not known to be a good place to work. The place has changed. Weirder than SF, now.

Reply to
krw

That says everything you want to know about Slowman; AmostAlwaysWrong.

My Ranger did the same thing, though. It's not unusual in the NE. The salt finally got my suspension, too. The rear spring mounts rotted away; nothing holding the springs to the chassis.

Reply to
krw

d a 2004 GMC PU that had all the brake lines rust. They all had to be repl aced.

o

year

lines rusted from the outside. The fluid was in perfect shape and there wa s no corrosion within the system. When it happened, I did some googling onl y to find out it was happening to many other GM owners and to different yea rs.

I don't think that anybody with a grain of sense would go any farther than NotInfallible.

Since krw makes an ass of himself at regular intervals, and never believes that he's screwed up, this comment from him is a trifle ironic. Historicall y speaking AlwaysWrong posted under a wide variety of pseudonyms, which he would change shortly after he'd been identified as AlwaysWrong.

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Bill Sloman, Sydney
Reply to
Bill Sloman

formatting link

market.

that lit

raise

losses,

stocks,

*think*

Not in the least. Twitter? Like hell. Maybe Amazon, it will survive.

?-)

Reply to
josephkk

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