Oxygen Free Cables

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Really, that thread has gone on long enough.  Call yourselves electronic
experts?  No time have I read so much non-scientific claptrap.  For the
benefit of the non-scientific (and that's all of you, by the looks) here
are the real facts.  Listen and learn.

What is needed to solve this question is pure logic and some true
science.  Look at where the music starts, for a start (logical?).  The
performer, usually human (to sing, groan, or operate the musical device
anyway).  This person needs oxygen.  If they siuffer from a shortage of
this, then the sounds (or ability to play an instrument) suffer too. It
follows that the oxygen supply to the musician must be kept going.  It
has been shown over and over again that performers deprived of their
oxygen quickly lose interest in being musical, and the resulting sound
becomes muddy, indistinct, and finally ceases altogether (or remains on
a monotonous single tone if playing a theremin (even with series
electrolytics, but I wont go down *that* path this time - this will be
too much for some of you heroes as it is) or automatically blown
bagpipes.  So, we must use every device possible to ensure maximum
oxygen supply to performers (for example, in the nineties they tried -
very briefly - the effect of using resuscitators).  This undeniable need
for oxygen by the way, is the real reason for the crackdown on certain
drugs and also the government led bans on smoking at venues; it simply
leaves more oxygen behind for the artistes (no crude remarks here,
please, as members of this ng are wont to make).  Let us take this
further.  Anything that actually adds to the oxygen supply will aid the
performance.  So, now take the end of the music chain.  The speakers,
right?  Well not quite actually, there are the ears, or to be even more
puristic the nerves from the ears to the brain.  The listener needs
oxygen to enjoy the performance to its full extent.  Again, science has
shown irrefutably that if a listener has no oxygen he/she will lose
interest in the quality of the music.  But, back to the speakers.  The
whole thing is simple.  The less oxygen we take out at the end of the
chain the more is left at the beginning.  The speaker essentially pushes
the air backwards and forwards (just watch the cone of a woofer in
action, pereferably before plunging a hot soldering iron into it
(afgain, no silly remarks please).  So when a speaker operates there is
no change to the oxygen levels.  It is in the speaker *cables* that we
get a chance to improve things.  *Quite simply, the less ogygen there is
in the speaker cable, the more there is left for the performer*  The
excess oxygen from what would have been the ogygenated speaker cables
simply flows back throught the system, out of the microphone and
straight into the singer's mouth.  Simple.  So let this be the end of
this nonsensical subject.  I've taken a lot of my time to improve the
knowledge of you readers.  So I hope you're grateful.  You doubt the
veracity of this obvious wisdom?  A final word to the doubters.  Many
times people's reaction to various forms of music (eg head-banging
hip-hop or muttering non-musical monotonous rap) has been to wish the
perfomer a lack of oxygen.  Proves my point.

Posted in the furtherance of genuine science....


Re: Oxygen Free Cables


The equation is simple:-

Oxygen free cables = Money free wallet

Re: Oxygen Free Cables



Quoted text here. Click to load it

Fuck!! This sounds like Nobel Prize material right here!! I feel so
privileged to have read such a briliiant thesis. :)

I think I'll have another beer now.

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